Wow! what a ride I've been on lately. In the very beginning when I started working on my anger I started to notice a few things. One was that I was clinching my jaws in my sleep which lead to some soreness (thank goodness that seems to be over). I had a few...how shall I put it...weird dreams. I have also noticed that my emotions have been a bit out of wack lately...I feel a bit on the emotional side.
I've never been a big fan of MY emotions. Growing up I would see my mom just sitting around and crying unable to do anything. After a while I began to look at crying as weakness...a weakness that I never wanted to have. I hated it when I cried. Over the years I've gotten better at accepting my emotions, but at times I'm still not a big fan of them. I believe the reason behind me feeling emotional lately is that my body is detoxing from the anger...it has to work it's way out of my system some how. When I catch myself starting to feel flustered with the fact that I'm feeling emotional I try to take a deep breath and tell myself that it's ok.
A friend of mine on Facebook recently posted a poem by Ann Davies,
"Learning isn't easy. Frustration tends to set in quickly. You hurt. You feel defeated. You want to give up - to quit. You want to walk away and pretend it doesn't matter. But you won't, because you're not a loser - you're a fighter. We all have to lose sometimes before we can win, we have to cry sometimes before we can smile. We have to hurt before we can be strong. But if you keep on working and believing, you'll have victory in the end".
Wow, I really like this. How true it is. Frustration sets in so quickly for me, and this was just a great reminder for me to take it easy on myself, that I'm a fighter, and that I WILL HAVE VICTORY in the end.
I'm not a perfect Christian, but by the grace and mercy of God I'm going to heal from my Childhood Sexual Abuse. It's by the grace of God I've made it this far, and it will be by His grace that I'll find the healing that I'm looking for. My relationship with God is what brings me through it all. He truly is an awsome God! And if what I write applies to no one eles in this world it applies to me. This blog is about my healing journey and about what I'm learning along the way.
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