Saturday, November 26, 2011

Feeling Out Of Place

     Sometimes I feel like I don't know how to socialize with people. I had a great time with my family on Thanksgiving, but I felt out of place and didn't know what to talk to people about. Telling potty training stories before sitting down to eat really isn't something that people are going to want to hear about before they eat. There is only so much to share when it comes to talking about the house that my husband and I just bought...which is such a blessing! While everyone was talking about how their year has been and all that is going on in their lives I was at a loss as to what to share. I love my life, but there isn't a lot to share. I could talk about all the great progress that I've made this year in my healing journey, but I can feel people getting physically uncomfortable as soon as I mention it. It's like the whole atmosphere changes. I know my family feels bad about what happened to me, and they probably just don't know what to say...which is what probably leads to that all around uncomfortable feeling in the atmosphere. Sometimes I wish that I could be more open with them and share with them what I've been through and the many ways in which I have healed. At the same time I tend to try to protect them from it. Healing isn't always pretty, and I don't want my family to hurt. It's something I try to carry on my own, and I don't want them to have to carry any of it. I guess I wish that I felt more comfortable talking to them about it, and that they felt more comfortable hearing about the healing journey.

2 comments:

  1. Hi Leah,
    I just stumbled upon your blog. Thank you for sharing your journey with others. It is so important to have resources to others who have been through what you have. As a survivor and a Christian, I want you to know that you are right. Your family doesn't know what to say - it is just an uncomfortable subject for most people. I also wanted to shout to the world the ways in which I healed, and still am (some 30+ years after the abuse). Furthermore, if you have not lived it, you can not appreciate how difficult is this healing journey. So I praise and thank the Lord and celebrate myself. And I celebrate your healing too. It is a long hard road and you are making it! Well done good and faithful servant :)

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  2. Thank you so much for what you have said. Your words mean a lot to me. I am so glad that you have found healing.

    Your Sister In Christ,
    Leah K.

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