Need You Now by Plumb

     I must say that I'm really loving this song right now. I can defiantly relate to that feeling of calling out to God in complete desperation. This song reminds me of all the times I cried out to God like this; how time and time again He showed Himself faithful in answering me. I'm truly grateful for all that God seen me through, and how He continues to see me through things.

Brownsville Revival - Charity James "Mercy Seat"

    
     Oh, wow! How this song speaks to me right now. "I'm running, I'm running, I'm running to the mercy seat. Where Jesus is calling. His grace will be a covering. His blood will flow freely. It will provide my healing. I'm running to the mercy seat. You said I could come into your presence with out fear. Into the Holy Place where your mercy hovers near"!!! I love how people are flocking to the alter in this video. It reminds me of the times I've gone running to the mercy seat like that. It doesn't matter if I'm running to the mercy seat because of my own sins or because of the sins committed against me. It's still the same healing power that meets me.

     I for a long time felt like what had happened to me was somehow a sin that I had committed because of the burden of shame that I felt. I noticed that for as long as I felt the shame I also carried around a sense of condemnation of a sin I did not commit as though it were my sin. As though I just couldn't repent of it enough. Time and again I would run to the mercy seat as though I was looking for forgiveness when it was healing that I needed. Each time I brought my brokenness before the Lord, He would provide my healing bit by bit. Piece by piece God would reveal to me the healing that needed to take place, and God would prepare me for it. While I have come such a long way from where I once was; I'm still healing, and God is still preparing me for my healing that is yet to come, but I know that I know that I know...it's on it's way!!

     I would just like to encourage anyone who feels the burden of shame. Especially for the shame of a sin they did not commit but was committed against them. To run to the mercy seat; take your brokenness to God, and watch Him provide the healing. Every time I felt like I was at my lowest; I would go before God. I would be totally honest with God about my brokenness, and God never failed to provide my healing. No, it wasn't always easy. In fact most of the time it was a battle won by not giving up no matter how hard I had to fight to hold onto the promise of my healing. I know God has promised me my healing, and at times that's all I had to hold onto. The promise is enough to get me through to the other side because I know that with that promise comes All of God's resources...all of His power and authority. Because of my promise I could step out, even if I was being carried by Jesus, into what I felt I needed to do to walk into my healing. Only with God as my strength could I face the horrors of my past, and walk away healed.

     I'm running, I'm running, I'm running to the mercy seat. Where Jesus is calling. His grace will be a covering. His blood will flow freely. It will provide my healing. I'M RUNNING TO THE MERCY SEAT!!

Can't Get Over You By: Anthem Lights

     Wow!! This is such an awesome song. I am in such awe over all that God has done in my life; it cuts right down to the very core of me. There is nothing like being in the presence of God. How his love wraps all around you. One of the parts of this song that I love so much is when it says "hold me pull me just a little bit closer I don't want to lose this moment Your love has covered me And now I can't get over you...I just can't get over you". This whole song is just awesome to me. This may sound silly to many, but it truly amazes me all that God has done for me, and all that I know God still has planned for me. I know God has great things planned for my life, and while I enjoy every bit of this season in my life I also wait with anticipation for the things yet to come. I hope that you all enjoy this song as much as I do, and that you get as much out of this song as I do.

Real Me By: Natalie Grant

     This is a great song. I don't know how many of you have ever felt like this, but I know I have. I know when I'm hiding behind my mask that God sees what's going on in the inside of me. He knows my struggles to open up to people and to really let them in...he knows my fears. He knows everything about me, excepts me for who I am, and loves me unconditionally.

Fall Apart by: Josh Wilson

     This really is a great song. I can really relate to the lyrics in this song..."My whole world is caving in but I feel you now more than I did then. How can I come to the end of me and some how still have all I need. God I want to know you more maybe this is how it starts I find you when I fall apart". God has never failed to show up during the times I've felt so lost and needed him to show me that he is still there. In fact some of the times in my life where I have experienced God like never before have been during the times that I've struggled the most. I know that when I am at my weakest God is at His greatest...this way there is no doubt that it's God working in my life, and I cannot take credit for something that he has done. I hope you enjoy this song as much as I do.

Remind Me Who I am by: Jason Grey

     I really like this song because I can relate to it so well. There have been so many times when I have asked God to show me who I am in him. Times when I have just felt so lost that I just needed God to reach down and tell me that he still sees me, and he never failed to do so. We all have had others give us labels and we have given labels to ourselves too...I love how at the end of this video all the labels are replaced with just one word...BELOVED! Even though I have come such a long way on my healing journey I can still feel something way deep down in me that is in awe and says "Wow, how can that be me...how can I be called beloved". Knowing that God loves me enough to call me beloved humbles me to my core, and at times brings me to my knees in tears. I am so humbled by and thankful for the love of God in my life. I want you to know that God loves you too and wants to call you his beloved as well. I hope you like and enjoy this song just as much as I do.

Amazed by Kutless

     It's been about 14 years since the abuse happened, 4 years since court, and he's been out of jail for 2 years this month. Lord, "you have overwhelmed my heart, I'm amazed by who you are"!!! As I look back, only you could have brought me this far and brought healing to my life. For me it was never a matter of wondering if you would or even if you could bring me through it all; I always knew you would and I know that you will continue to bring me through it all. I am overwhelmed and amazed at all that you have done for me, and at how far you have brought me since 2002 when I started facing the truth of the abuse that I went through. Lord be lifted high and be magnified.

Someone Worth Dying For - MIKESCHAIR

     I love this song. I sometimes struggle with feeling worthy of all that God has done for me. I like how this song gets to the heart of the matter...believing that I am worth dying for. It's so humbling to know that Jesus loves me enough to feel that I am worth dying for, and we're not talking about just any death...we're talking about the death of the cross. Jesus was mocked, spat upon, BEATEN BEYOND RECOGNITION, and crucified!! In the midst of it all Jesus gave the world the best examples of forgiveness and love this world will ever see. While hanging on the cross, in the midst of it all (all the pain and betrayal), Jesus prayed to God the Father and said "Forgive them". Jesus knowing the love that he has for us all, willingly went through the death of the cross for our sakes. So that we can be reconnected to an Almighty God that loves us, and not have to have our sin stand in the way of our relationship with a loving God. It can be so easy to think that the love and grace of God can't reach us because of the things that have happened in our lives, but the TRUTH is...no one is beyond the reach of the love and grace of God!! All you have to do is except it...except God into your heart, and all your past is covered by his love and grace, and your future will be secure in him. We are not just some wondering soul. We are his creation, made in his image, made for a purpose, and created out of love. It's in the love of God that Jesus says you are worth dying for, and he proved it by willingly going to the cross.

"You Love Me Anyway" from Sidewalk Prophets

     This is such an amazing song!!! I'm so humbled to know that God loves me anyways, and in spite of all that I've been through. Because of my childhood, I sometimes have a hard time feeling like I'm truly accepted by God, BUT I know it's just my insecurities speaking. Anyone no matter what kind of childhood or up bringing they have can have deep wounds that effects how they perceive God, and how they feel accepted by God. I know I am loved by God whether I feel like I am or not. Feelings can be very deceiving. I have to stand on the word of God, and not on my feelings. My Bible tells me that I am a beloved and cherished child of the Most High God, and that matters more to me than what I feel. It's not always easy, and I do have my moments where I cry out to God...asking him if he even sees me. God has never failed to show me that he sees me and hears my cries. God has never failed to show me that he loves me!!! This same love that God shows towards me, he will show towards you. The love of God is already there towards you; you just have to accept it.

Natalie Grant- Your Great Name

     Oh, how I just absolutly love this song!!! Don't ever underestimate how powerful the name of JESUS is, and how powerful our praises of JESUS can be!!!

Till The Walls Fall - Martha Munizzi

     Martha Munizzi - No Limits (live) CD - Is an awesome cd and I would highly recommend it to anyone. I have really been listening to this cd a lot lately, and it is helping me to overcome some things that I've been dealing with lately. If we keep our minds on praising God then our mind has no time to dwell on our circumstances. I know that for me...the more I dwell on something the more worked up I can get...which doesn't always work in my favor. In fact it can leave me feeling defeated, and like I'm carrying a heavy load. So this cd has been helping me to keep my mind on God. This song gets me all fired up...I love it!!!
 
     In this song she says, "Praise is the weapon, but the battle is the Lord's". That is so true!! Our praise to a Holy God is the weapon that we use to defeat our circumstances, and to come out on the other side. We can not lose when we allow God to fight our battle for us, and our praise to God is what is needed for that to happen.

Here is a great Bible story about how God can fight our battles for us:

2 Chronicles 20:15-25 "And he said, Hearken ye, all Judah, and ye inhabitants of Jerusalem, and thou king Jehoshaphat, Thus saith the LORD unto you, Be not afraid nor dismayed by reason of this great multitude; for the battle is not yours, but God's.

16 To morrow go ye down against them: behold, they come up by the cliff of Ziz; and ye shall find them at the end of the brook, before the wilderness of Jeruel.

17 Ye shall not need to fight in this battle: set yourselves, stand ye still, and see the salvation of the LORD with you, O Judah and Jerusalem: fear not, nor be dismayed; to morrow go out against them: for the LORD will be with you.

18 And Jehoshaphat bowed his head with his face to the ground: and all Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem fell before the LORD, worshipping the LORD.

19 And the Levites, of the children of the Kohathites, and of the children of the Korhites, stood up to praise the LORD God of Israel with a loud voice on high.

20 And they rose early in the morning, and went forth into the wilderness of Tekoa: and as they went forth, Jehoshaphat stood and said, Hear me, O Judah, and ye inhabitants of Jerusalem; Believe in the LORD your God, so shall ye be established; believe his prophets, so shall ye prosper.

21 And when he had consulted with the people, he appointed singers unto the LORD, and that should praise the beauty of holiness, as they went out before the army, and to say, Praise the LORD; for his mercy endureth for ever.

22 And when they began to sing and to praise, the LORD set ambushments against the children of Ammon, Moab, and mount Seir, which were come against Judah; and they were smitten.

23 For the children of Ammon and Moab stood up against the inhabitants of mount Seir, utterly to slay and destroy them: and when they had made an end of the inhabitants of Seir, every one helped to destroy another.

24 And when Judah came toward the watch tower in the wilderness, they looked unto the multitude, and, behold, they were dead bodies fallen to the earth, and none escaped.

25 And when Jehoshaphat and his people came to take away the spoil of them, they found among them in abundance both riches with the dead bodies, and precious jewels, which they stripped off for themselves, more than they could carry away: and they were three days in gathering of the spoil, it was so much".

     Look at this story...the children of Israel didn't have to lift a finger to fight. I think that it's important to note that the singers were sent out in front of the men of war/soldiers. All they did was sing songs of praise and worship to God, stood their ground on faith, and he fought the battle for them. Not only did God fight this battle for them, but look at the huge blessing that he also gave them...it took three days to collect all the riches and there was so much that they couldn't even carry all of it. In the midst of our hard times and trials if we allow God to fight our battles for us not only will we stand in victory over our circumstances, but God can abundantly bless us in that victory.

Stronger (WGTS Studios) by Mandisa

     This is truly an amazing song. I really love this song. God has taken all of the hardships in my life, and has used them to make me stronger. Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose". God is more than able to bring us through any situation that we face in our lives, and if we allow him, he can use it to make us stronger and wiser. Like the song says...when it feels like the waves are taking you under, you just have to hold on a little bit longer. Even when it feels like God is a million miles away, He's really right there by your side, and He cares for you more than you know.

East to West - Casting Crowns [with lyrics]

     This is a great song. One of the reasons why I love this song so much is that I can identify with so much of this song. I know what it feels like to think that you are drowning in God's sea of forgetfulness, and to yearn for peace of mind from my past. I know what it feels like to pray to God for him to not leave me where I am at, to save me, and to take me out of the pit that I was in. I have even longed for God to show me just how far he has cast my sin and shame from me. Did you know that east and west don't meet? This song is about Jesus taking our sin and casting it from the east to west...our sin is taken so far away from us that it will never meet us again!!! Jesus' arms were spread out (east to west) for us when he died upon the cross for us. That we may be reconciled with God. Psalms 103:12 "As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us". I can identify with every part of this great song.
    
   

Mighty To Save by Laura Story

     This is yet again another one of those songs that I just love. A great song about the saving grace of God. God truly is mighty to save!! It doesn't matter what your situation is...God has seen it all, and still loves us enough to bring salvation to us. Let me get one thing straight here...a victim of any kind of abuse has done NOTHING WRONG!!! But we tend to take the blame onto ourselves as though we are the guilty party. So, I tend to address things from that stand point; knowing that there are many hurting victims that blame themselves, and think that it is somehow their fault. I've been there...done that, and know how that works. It took me a long time to fully let go of that self blame. It helped me a lot when I realized that it was not a sin that I committed somehow, but that it was a sin that was committed AGAINST me. That is when I first started to realize that the sexual abuse was not my fault. So, whether you are carrying guilt over bad choices that you've made or carrying the guilt of sins that have been committed against you...God is mighty to save, mighty to heal, and mighty to deliver.

Amazing Grace My Chains Are Gone

     I love this version of Amazing Grace. As a survivor of sexual abuse I have often felt like I was chained to my abuse, my abuser, and my past. And I think it's reasonable to say that most people at one time or another have felt chained to something...sin, addiction, bad choices, abuse, and even just every day things. But it is through the price that was paid on the cross by Jesus Christ that we can be set free from those chains. I know that I have been set free from my chains of abuse, and what a glorious freedom it is!!! It is my hope that as you draw closer to God that you will allow Him to set you free. I know all too well how difficult the process can be, but oh, what a glorious and wondrous freedom there is awaiting you in the arms of the Healer. God's grace truly is amazing, and His love unending.

Nicole C. Mullen - Come Unto Me [Lyrics]

     This is another one of those songs that I just love!! Jesus is saying "come unto me", and He will take you just as you are because he loves you more than you can imagine. He wants you to bring to Him your hurt, pain, sorrow, brokenness, and loneliness, and He will give you joy, peace, happiness, and love. Jesus will enrich your life more than you can imagine. But God doesn't just want us to bring him our pain and sorrow; he wants to rejoice with us in our joy and happiness too.

RESCUE ME / SELAH

     This is one of my favorite songs of all time (of which I have many). I can completely identify with the feeling of being so overwhelmed that it's like your drowning. I just identify with the message of this song so much. I have found it to be true in my life experiences that when I truly give my problems to God that my burdens are lifted and much easier to work with. I just love this song because when I feel overwhelmed it's like my soul cries out with it for God to rescue me. I don't know how to explain it...this song is soothing to my soul because I know that my God and King will rescue me.

Britt Nicole - Hanging On (Slideshow With Lyrics)

     I love this song because it truly has been by holding onto God and His word that I am where I am today. I have done a lot of counceling and group therapy, but I feel as though God has used that to help me get to where I am today. It's a life long process to become the person who God made you to be, and as long as you're holding onto God and His word you'll do great. And always remember that GOD LOVES YOU!!

Beautiful by MercyMe (Lyrics)

     You are Beautiful and Loved by God. You are Treasured and Sacred...you are God's Beloved. You are more than the pain that you hold inside; you are made for so much more than all of that. You are Beautiful and Loved by God. God is madly in love with you...enough to die for you. You are so Beautiful, Precious, Treasured, and Sacred in the eyes of God. He longs to touch your breaking heart and to heal you of your pain. This is a great song about being beautiful in the eyes of God.

Point Of Grace - There Is Nothing Greater Than Grace

Wow!! This is an awesome song. There is no grace greater than the grace of Jesus!! The grace of God is His unmerited favor toward you. You can not earn God's grace, but He gives it FREELY to you because HE LOVES YOU. Yes, God loves YOU!! "There is no valley, there is no darkness, there is no sorrow, there is no moment, there is no distance greater than the grace of Jesus. There is no heartbreak that He can't take you through. Remember that there is nothing greater than grace. So don't lose hope, don't let go, don't give up, you are not alone". What a great message, and these are such great words. There is such an awesome truth in the words of this song. No one is too lost to be saved by the grace of Jesus. It doesn't matter what is in your past it can all be forgiven, and it can all be healed...for there is NOTHING GREATER THAN THE GRACE OF JESUS!!