My Blog Is Moving

I would like to let everyone know that I am moving my blog. The new web address is www.thehealingsearch.org. While I have imported all of my current posts that I have on this site to the other site...it is not fully up and running to where I would like it to be. Please be patient with me as I work on getting the new site going. My due date for our third child is rapidly approaching, and I'm busy making sure everything is ready for her. I'm also a stay-at-home mom of 2 precious girls. Needless to say that all keeps me quite busy, and I'm also trying to get the new site the way that I would like it to be (which is requiring some reading and research on my part). Again, please be patient with me as we go through this transitional period.

Thank you for your support and patients.

Still Here and Doing Good

     I just wanted to post to let everyone know I'm still here. In the beginning of March my husband came home from doing a nine month tour in Afghanistan. It has been such a blessing to have him back home, and not a moment gone un-cherished. We've had a wonderful family vacation this summer. It's August now, and school is getting ready to start. My oldest will be starting third grade while my youngest is going into Pre-K. I'm also 17 weeks pregnant, and will be finding out what we are having in about a week and a half. I too am looking into registering for a class for this fall semester. I'm excited about working on my Bachelor Degree, and want to continue to work at it even if it's one class at a time. Granted I'm going to take at least a semester off after the baby gets here, but I'm determined to keep going as long as fiances allow. I'm also still taking classes at my church which I will complete by December of this year. My church's Women's Conference starts this week, and I'm so excited to be attending it again this year. Last year was so amazing and life changing for me, and I can't wait to see what God has planned for me this year during our Women's Conference. Life is good...

April...Sexual Assault Awareness Month

     April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Here are some statistics from RAINN's website:

• 44% of victims are under the age of 18
• 80% of victims are under the age of 30
• Every 2 minutes some in the U.S. is sexually assaulted
• There are approximately 207,754 victims of sexual assault each year
• 54% of sexual assaults are not reported and 97% of rapist never spend a day in jail
• About 2/3 of assaults are committed by someone known to the victim
• 38% of rapists are a friend or acquaintance of the victim
• For more statistics, information and to find resources for help go to RAINN's website at rainn.org

     I would like to talk about those last two statistics for just a moment. These two statistics point out that a good portion of victims know their attacker or abuser. Yet, when talking to our children we tend to stress the importance of stranger danger. Don't get me wrong, it is vitally important to teach stranger danger to our children. So then, we are taught from a young age that harm at the hands of a stranger is to almost be expected somehow. However, harm at the hands of someone we know tends to be either over looked or not stressed as much as stranger danger...and yet it is just as important as stranger danger.

     Our children need to know that they are safe, and can trust those around them. This too is vitally important to our children. They also need to know they do not have to comply with requests or even demands by people (and yes those who they know...even authority figures in their lives) who are asking them to do things they just aren't comfortable with or doesn't seem right to them (I'm not talking about requests like cleaning their rooms or picking up trash). They need to know it's ok to ask questions about why they are being asked to do something. They need to know that it's ok to go tell other adults, and to seek clarification on things before doing what is being asked of them. They need to know they have boundaries that others do not have permission to cross, and when not sure to ask...ask another adult about it. They need to know that just because someone they know, trust, love and is an authority figure in their life does not mean they do not have a right to ask questions and to not do things they are uncomfortable with.

     To be clear, I'm not talking about the right of a child to be rude or nasty when asked to do something. Being disrespectful is not alright. Even when a person's actions are such that respect is hard to show; we must learn to look past the person to the authority of the position the person holds, and to give respect to the position. There are many respectful responses we can teach our children. Such as: no Sir/Ma'am; no, I'm not comfortable with that; I would like to have someone else also explain that to me; and even just a simple use of tone when saying "No". However, if the child feels they are in immediate danger they need to know it's ok to scream for help or to scream NO. We need to teach our children how to excuse themselves from situations they are not comfortable with. Our children must know that they can not only respectfully decline to do something they are uncomfortable with, but that they should also immediately tell an adult who they trust, to receive clarity on the situation. Our children need to have the confidence and sense of security that will allow them to open up to an adult when someone tells them something that may sound right, in a funky kind of way, but doesn't seem quite right somehow, and they just aren't sure.

     So yes, by all means I beg you to teach stranger danger to your children, but I also beg you to teach your children it's ok to speak up when it's someone they know such as: (and it pains me to have to say this) a parent, step-parent, sibling, aunt, uncle, cousin, relative of any kind, family friend, friend of the child, a teacher, a daycare worker and anyone the child may feel close to...that it's ok to speak up no matter who the person is. Really that's the key isn't it...for a child to know that it's ok to speak up no matter who the person is...stranger or not. That even when they are gown and, God forbid, something horrible were to happen that they will have the strength to speak up.

My Life As Of Late

     I'm sorry that it's been so long since my last posting. My life has been very busy. In August of last year I went back to school. I am currently working on my Bachelors in Psychology. Also, last year my husband deployed to Afghanistan for nine months, and has recently returned home. I have been enjoying finally having my husband home. I've been enjoying simple things like listening to our girls giggle as he tells them bed time stories, watching him play with them, and just the simple sight of our girls sitting next to him. He truly is an amazing dad to our kids, and I am so thankful to the Lord for the blessing to my life that is my husband. I just wanted to share with you all what has been going on with me. This month, the month of April, is Sexual Assault Awareness month, and I hope to have a few thoughts posted soon...hoping to get it done today.

Need You Now by Plumb

     I must say that I'm really loving this song right now. I can defiantly relate to that feeling of calling out to God in complete desperation. This song reminds me of all the times I cried out to God like this; how time and time again He showed Himself faithful in answering me. I'm truly grateful for all that God seen me through, and how He continues to see me through things.

Brownsville Revival - Charity James "Mercy Seat"

    
     Oh, wow! How this song speaks to me right now. "I'm running, I'm running, I'm running to the mercy seat. Where Jesus is calling. His grace will be a covering. His blood will flow freely. It will provide my healing. I'm running to the mercy seat. You said I could come into your presence with out fear. Into the Holy Place where your mercy hovers near"!!! I love how people are flocking to the alter in this video. It reminds me of the times I've gone running to the mercy seat like that. It doesn't matter if I'm running to the mercy seat because of my own sins or because of the sins committed against me. It's still the same healing power that meets me.

     I for a long time felt like what had happened to me was somehow a sin that I had committed because of the burden of shame that I felt. I noticed that for as long as I felt the shame I also carried around a sense of condemnation of a sin I did not commit as though it were my sin. As though I just couldn't repent of it enough. Time and again I would run to the mercy seat as though I was looking for forgiveness when it was healing that I needed. Each time I brought my brokenness before the Lord, He would provide my healing bit by bit. Piece by piece God would reveal to me the healing that needed to take place, and God would prepare me for it. While I have come such a long way from where I once was; I'm still healing, and God is still preparing me for my healing that is yet to come, but I know that I know that I know...it's on it's way!!

     I would just like to encourage anyone who feels the burden of shame. Especially for the shame of a sin they did not commit but was committed against them. To run to the mercy seat; take your brokenness to God, and watch Him provide the healing. Every time I felt like I was at my lowest; I would go before God. I would be totally honest with God about my brokenness, and God never failed to provide my healing. No, it wasn't always easy. In fact most of the time it was a battle won by not giving up no matter how hard I had to fight to hold onto the promise of my healing. I know God has promised me my healing, and at times that's all I had to hold onto. The promise is enough to get me through to the other side because I know that with that promise comes All of God's resources...all of His power and authority. Because of my promise I could step out, even if I was being carried by Jesus, into what I felt I needed to do to walk into my healing. Only with God as my strength could I face the horrors of my past, and walk away healed.

     I'm running, I'm running, I'm running to the mercy seat. Where Jesus is calling. His grace will be a covering. His blood will flow freely. It will provide my healing. I'M RUNNING TO THE MERCY SEAT!!

Freedom Of A Hair Cut

     Today I took my 3 and a half year old to get her very first hair cut. I finally felt like her hair had grown long enough to where I could get her hair cut and not have to do a style that might make her look like a boy. She did great!!! She sat still just like I asked her to, and listened very well to the directions of the lady cutting her hair. I'm one very proud and excited momma right now.

     A hair cut to most is just another hair cut, and doesn't mean much to them. I spent about 6 years in a church where women weren't supposed to cut their hair, wear pants, shorts, earrings, necklaces, or makeup among other things. While I learned some great things while attending this church organization not everything was good. I cried when I realized I could cut my hair and not go to hell. So, when I look back at what we've come out of this is an experience she might never have had, had we stayed with that organization. Today, I enjoyed greatly the FREEDOM of watching her get her hair cut because to me it is a freedom that myself and my children now enjoy, and I thank God for it.

Some Positive New Things In My Life

     I finally was able to meet with my Faculty Advisor today so that I can sign up for classes that start in the Fall. I'm going back to school to get a Bachelors in Psychology. I'm also considering a minor in writing, or I might just seek a Bachelors in Writing as well. I am excited for school to start. I also am enjoying this summer time with my girls, and part of me isn't ready for the summer to end. There is a lot going on in my life right now, but I'm excited about all that God is doing in my life.

     My pastor recently preached and said what looks like a set back is only a set up for greater things to come. I know that while some recent changes which have happened were very difficult to adjust to; it's not going to be a set back (although it may have felt like it), but its a set up to propel me further in my walk and destiny in Christ. I know God has great things in store for me, and I wait for it all with anticipation knowing my later will be greater than the former.

     I'd like to share one other thing I've heard from my pastor which really stood out to me. First, I'll have to give some scripture.

                            Romans 8:35-39

8:35 - Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

8:36 - As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.

8:37 - Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors though him that loved us.

8:38 - For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor  powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

8:39 - Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Although I may stand as a sheep before the slaughter God as already declared my victory. For He has said that I am more than a conqueror. It is by His love that I move, and breath, and have life. Not just any kind of life, but a victorious life. A life where all my battles have already been called to victory before I even face them. Therefore, any obstacle or battle that I may face in life has already been won and cannot be lost. It is up to me to stand firm in my victory or to forfeit it. I don't know about any one else, but I don't plan to forfeit any of my victories. The biggest thing I took from this particular service is: even though I may stand before the hardest of battles (as the sheep before the slaughter) God has ALREADY DECLARED MY VICTORY!!!

     Life doesn't hold still for anyone, and mines on the move. I just wanted to take some time to share with all of you some of the positive things going on in my life. May each of us receive the blessings God shines down upon us every day, and not take any of them for granted.